


let it out

by inkchantress



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: F/M, Ladrien June, Ladrien | Adrien Agreste/Marinette Dupain-Cheng as Ladybug, Mentions of temporary character death, NO BETA WE DIE LIKE HEROES, i didn't tag it as mcd because he's not actually dead, this is roughly inspired by a comic by buggachat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-13
Updated: 2020-06-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:15:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24692884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inkchantress/pseuds/inkchantress
Summary: ladybug is in need of a talk after a particularly stressful akuma battle.(my contribution to ladrien june.)
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Comments: 34
Kudos: 146





	let it out

Ladybug was an ugly crier.

She wiped her face with her palm, her tears running into her mouth--she could taste salt. Her hands were shaking, and she couldn’t breathe. Her lungs felt so shallow.

God, she hated herself for it. 

If anybody saw her...

She really didn’t need there to be a news story about this.

She was curled up in an alley behind a large tin trash can, feet pointed inwards, shoulders shaking, body twisted and tied in a knot. She wanted to scream and cry and punch something until she had no more feeling in her arms.

She looked at her slender, trembling fingers and made fists, and she stood up and started beating the brick wall behind her, tears still streaming down her face. She beat it senseless, until she was sure her knuckles were bleeding, but there was not a single scratch on her hands.

She beat it until her wrists were numb, and then she let her arms drop and rested her forehead against the brickwork, tears falling on the ground.

She was _such_ an ugly crier.

“Um... Ladybug?”

Ladybug jumped, turning around to face the voice.

Adrien Agreste stuck his hands in the pockets of his ladybug-patterned hoodie and looked down at the cement. “Is this a bad time?”

Ladybug was a beautiful crier.

This didn’t surprise Adrien in the least. She was a beautiful everything. She was beautiful when she was laughing, fighting, concentrated, relaxed. She was beautiful when she slept. She was beautiful when she smiled. 

And she was _gorgeous_ when she cried.

Her eyes were puffy and red and there were tear tracks down her cheeks and she was perfect.

(But she was _crying._ So she wasn’t perfect. Something was wrong.)

(Something was very wrong.)

She made a sound from inside her throat that seemed halfway between a sob and a laugh, wiping her cheek with the heel of her hand. “N-n-no, no, it’s fine,” she replied. “Do you need something?”

He kicked up some gravel with the toe of his sneaker, thinking maybe staring at somebody crying wasn’t the right thing to do. “Um--no. It’s okay. I didn’t need anything.”

“O-okay.”

He looked at her, straight into the sky blue of her eyes, and held the silence for several seconds, punctuated only by her sniffles. The apples of her cheeks were flushed pink under her mask, and one of her ribbons was missing from her pigtails.

“Rough day?” he said quietly.

Her face crumpled up and she nodded, and halfway through the nod she broke down, shoulders shaking and curling forward, her head staring down at her feet. The light of the fading sun hit her full on and cast her shadow onto the alley wall, hunched over and crying, and in that moment she looked so _human_ that it made his heart break.

There was a hand on her back, and she looked up. Adrien was next to her, looking at her with soft green eyes.

“Tell me about it.”

She sat down, lining her head up with the brickwork. Adrien sat next to her, and the two of them looked at each other, watching each other breathe. She could see the rise and fall of his chest beneath his sweatshirt.

She looked up at the sky, an orange tinge beginning to touch the clouds and bring the day into sunset. “It’s Chat Noir.”

(Adrien was afraid she would say that.)

“What about Chat Noir?” he asked quietly.

She leaned forward, wrapping her arms around her legs, making herself as small as possible. It was an age-old tactic whenever she felt sad, or alone, or not enough. Her parents used to call it “the rock pose”. 

_“Don’t be rocky, Marinette,”_ her dad would say.

“Were you watching the battle?” she asked into her arms.

Adrien looked uncomfortable. “I... yeah.”

She buried her face in her knees. “He _died_.”

(Adrien was afraid she would say that, too.)

“They just say he got h-h-hurt,” she continued, fighting for air. She was such an ugly crier that it was almost painful. “They say he got knocked out. But I-I-I held him. He was gone.”

And once the words came out the tears started reappearing and she couldn’t breathe. “He was _g-g-gone,_ Adrien. He was _dead._ And I-I didn’t know what to do--what if I hadn’t figured it out?”

Adrien’s hand made circles on her back. He was curled up, too, his right arm around his knees. “Let it out.”

“He was b-b-bleeding _so much_ \--his eyes were open and there was so much blood--what if I hadn’t saved him? What if I h-h-hadn’t been as lucky?”

“I’m sure he just wants to protect you,” Adrien whispered.

“Don’t you think I _know_ that?” Ladybug cried between sobs. “He only says it _every other second_ \--but why is he always _s-s-sacrificing_ himself all the time? Doesn’t he understand that--that--that--”

“That what?” Adrien asked.

“ _That I can’t do this alone!”_ Ladybug burst out. “I... I _can’t._ I am _nothing_ without him.”

Adrien’s hand abruptly stopped doing circles.

He looked at the side of Ladybug’s face, at the tears clinging to her eyelashes, at the curve of her mask and the slimness of her shoulders. He looked at her pale cheeks, pink with emotion.

Her words echoed in his ears.

_I am nothing without him._

“You are everything to him,” he said quietly.

Ladybug sniffed. A thin line of snot was dripping out of her nose.

“That’s why he does it,” Adrien continued, making more circles on her back, emotion clouding his voice. “He loves you. Wouldn’t you do the same?”

Ladybug looked up and caught Adrien’s gaze. The two of them stared at each other for a moment, eyes locked.

She didn’t want to have to answer that question.

Because, to be honest, she didn’t know the answer.

Ladybug buried her face in her elbows without saying anything more, just sobbing and shaking. She leaned into him, her head to his shoulder, and his arm circled around her back. They sat there for a minute and he just let her cry.

He loved her. That was why he did it. That was why he died so many times--she was his sun, his moon, his stars. Ladybug made the world turn on its axis. Just looking at her made his heart swell in his throat.

And he would do it again.

He would do it a thousand times.

_You are everything to me._

Adrien was a good hugger.

His arms were wrapped around her back, holding her tight to him like he was never intending to let her go.

She slipped her arms around his neck and buried her face in the shoulder of his ladybug hoodie. It was soft, almost like a pillow.

She could have sat there forever, sobbing into the fabric. Just existing in Adrien’s arms.

It was such a wonderful place to be, arms around his shoulders, face next to his golden hair. He smelled familiar, like coconut shampoo and _Adrien: the Fragrance_ and a little hint of cheese, like home.

Adrien was a _terrible_ hugger.

She was crying into his shoulder. He could feel it through the fabric, hear her gentle quiet sobs muffled by his hoodie, and he didn’t know what to do.

_Just hold her. Just hold her._

He could feel her shoulder blades through her suit. She was shaking, and she smelled like strawberries and freshly baked bread. Like home.

_Just hold her._

**Author's Note:**

> is it too late to write one of these short-style fics for adrienette april and marichat may?  
> (i was in school and also didn't really know they were happening oops)  
> but im here now!!!  
> anyway this came to me in a flurry of inspiration so here you go.  
>   
> find me on [tumblr](https://carapeace.tumblr.com/)


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